Self Development Best Practices

EGO
By Dr. Brian R. Beirl

The centre of Paris was quiet on that cool November morning of 1783. The cataclysm of the French revolution was still six years away. The brothers Joseph and Etienne Montgolfier were busy preparing to fulfill mankind’s dream since antiquity; to fly with the birds of the air. Their cloth balloon was a simple inverted gourd design. The vessel was suspended over the glowing embers of a fire pit. The adventurous brothers had calculated that their return to earth would be possible by the gradual cooling of the air in the balloon. Their understanding of the dynamics of air pressure and their controlled plan allowed them to view the roof tops of Paris for 20 minutes and return safely. The world had changed.

Two years later, a brash Frenchman, Pilare de Rozier made plans to be the first to fly the English Channel. Not understanding or ignoring the phenomenon of the expansion of gases, he filled his balloon with hydrogen. Not having a way of relieving the air pressure, his balloon exploded and the over-confident adventurer was lost in the frigid waters of the Channel.

What lessons can be learned from these early adventurers. Their success or failure was not only based on the amount of energy available but how well that energy could be controlled. Rozier never lived to see the chalk cliffs of Dover because he and his balloon were full before he even attempted to the leave the ground. His ego became his worst enemy as he ignored the laws of nature and was driven to rise above his fellow adventurers. They could have helped him in his journey but he wanted the recognition and glory for himself. He flew solo and he died alone.

Our earlier and more successful balloonists’ relied on their source of energy, the fire pit, to be stable and well grounded. They knew that the lift would last a limited amount of time and they would return to earth safely. They were completely successful and most assuredly ready for future more ambitious efforts.

A healthy ego will grow in much the same way. We are emboldened by gradual, controlled, sequential successes. Many times this encouragement comes from outside us. Much like the Montgolfier brothers fire pit, our first boost in confidence may come from a mentor or teacher that sees the potential in us. However, just as their balloon eventually lost lift, we must not rely on others to be supporting our ego. A healthy and growing ego is eventually sustained by what we take with us on our ascent through life. Of course their will be ups and downs and buffeting winds, but we are very much in control of how we react to these changes in pressure. Modern balloonist have learned to take their fuel with them. They also very carefully control their ascent so they may have a pleasant and predictable voyage. A healthy ego allows us to enjoy the view without looking to see if someone is rising faster than us.

One would think that a healthy ego would reside in between an inflated ego and a deflated ego. This may be true in position but it does not hold true in how they transform from one to another.

It is interesting that the inflated ego is actually much closer to becoming the deflated ego than the healthy ego. We have all noticed that many times a challenging word to a person harboring an inflated ego will cause an immediate reaction or over reaction that may result in significant self doubt, revealing a low self-esteem. It is much like our over inflated balloon that is doomed to the tiniest tear in the fabric, sending it back to earth in a withered heap.

Once an ego is deflated it takes considerable energy to rise again. Unfortunately, individuals can get caught in a yo-yo affect of ascent and decline that will result in a tremendous requirement for energy. This not only affects the individual but is emotionally draining for those near by.

A healthy ego can take the winds of change and rise above the storm. There are few sudden course corrections needed. The voyage is smooth and a healthy ego does not travel alone. A healthy ego gives a lift to all those that are near.

Maintaining a healthy ego is a great balancing act that includes the encouragement from others, a clear vision of who we are and a self concept that is firm. But there must be sensitivity to the input and opinion of others that will aid us on our way. There may be “stuff “we have to jettison to gain altitude. Things and sometimes relationships may have to leave our lives for us to achieve our dreams.

For our learning experiences, healthy egos exhibit openness and an increased ability to accept new information. Just as when a balloonist ascends, our education is enhanced when we are not too full and ready to let go of some concepts that are hindering our moving toward the next level.

Our early balloonists that came back to earth safely, dreamed of longer and higher flights. They made steady progress using the knowledge of others and their rising self-confidence. They were not timid but they were well grounded, even as they soared.

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