Values Best Practices

Compassion

“I Will Greet this Day with a Forgiving Spirit”

By Andy Andrews

Traditional wisdom would tell us that the most effective way of dealing with rage or resentment is a course in anger management. Mental health professionals dealing exclusively in anger management are everywhere. Now, think about the term “anger management.” Why would you want to manage something like that? What we need is a course in anger resolution! It can be done by utilizing the sixth decision that will determine your personal success from my book, The Traveler’s Gift:

“I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.”

Forgiveness is the ultimate course in anger resolution. I couldn’t find anywhere, in any book I ever read, including the Bible, that said in order to forgive somebody, they had to ask for it or that they had to deserve it. Everything I read said, “Forgive. Let it go.” Forgiving someone is the ultimate gift to ourselves because, it affects us much more than it does them. Forgiveness IS anger resolution!

Forgiveness is the gift that you can give yourself.

“I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.”
What if someone is angry with us? Sometimes it can be tough to humbly ask someone’s forgiveness. But it works! If they’re a human being, if they’re a person that’s on this planet with you, they matter. To courageously say, “I owe you an apology and I want to ask your forgiveness,” is hard. But you’ll forge a new area of friendship that will resolve the anger. Forgiveness is resolution, not management. It doesn’t put the irritant over into a corner where we keep an eye on it. It erases it. It gets rid of it.

So, what will un-forgiveness do to us? Have you ever experienced the mental illusion that life literally has you cornered or boxed-in? When I feel that way, I’ve determined that there is generally someone that I haven’t forgiven, or someone from whom I haven’t asked forgiveness. That person’s name is subconsciously tapping me on the shoulder, taking my focus from the things that my focus needs to be on.

I sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and ask myself questions. As I answer the questions, I jot names that come to mind. When I’m through, I ask, “Is this a person I need to forgive or someone from whom I should ask forgiveness?” You can come up with your own questions, but remember that the quality of your answers is going to be determined by the quality of your questions.

Here are the ones I use:

• “What one decision would I make if I knew it would not fail?”

• “What one thing should I eliminate from my life because it holds me back from reaching my full potential?”

• “Am I on the path of something absolutely fantastic or something absolutely average?”

• “Am I running from something or to someone?”

• “What can I do to make better use of my time?”

• “What impossible thing am I believing right now and planning for?”

• “What is my most prevailing thought?”

• “What good thing have I previously committed myself to do that I’ve quit doing?”

• “Of the people I respect the most, what is it about them that earns my respect?”

• “What would a truly creative person do in my situation?”

• “What outside influences are causing me to be better or worse?”

• “What gifts, talents, or strengths do I have?”

• “I know I don’t know the answer right now, but if I knew the answer, what would I say?”

• “What is one thing I can do for someone else who has no opportunity to repay me?”

• “Who do I need to forgive?”

An old Indian man told his grandson about his internal fight between two wolves. One wolf was evil and contained anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride and ego. The other wolf was a good wolf that contained forgiveness. The grandson and then asked, “Which wolf wins?”

The old man replied, “The one I feed.”

It’s time to begin anew. For far too long, you’ve been dragging around these lead weights and year after year, you’ve added to the load. It’s about to crush you. All the things that you said you were going to do, but didn’t, is too much for one person to bear. The guilt has turned into resentment, and the resentment has turned to anger. Anger has taken over your life.

When you disappoint yourself, you respond with inaction and become more disappointed. It is impossible to fight an enemy that has a fort in your head. Forgive yourself and erase the doubts and the fears. From this day forward, your history needs to cease controlling your destiny. Your life has just begun. Become the person you want to be! Your forgiveness has value only when you give it away. You’ll create in yourself a new heart - a new beginning. Everything will start anew with your forgiving spirit!

Andy Andrews creates a once-in-a-lifetime event this September in Orlando, Florida, and you’re invited! Log onto www.guidedtraveler.com and use promo code “Success” for $100 discount today!

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