Business Magazine | BABM | Values

Handling criticism in a positive, powerful way is possible. This three-point plan shows you how.

Lucy, our Dalmatian, is our dog daughter. We live on an island on the Gulf of Mexico. Our house backs up to a big, high sand dune and there’s a large deck on the back of the house. When my wife and I stand out on the deck at night looking down at the beach, we often see a giant heron. Keep in mind; this heron is not just an ordinary bird. He is a really big bird. He likes to hang around our house in the evenings. We affectionately call him “Hank the Heron.”

Lucy hates this heron. She wants to have him by the neck. Lucy often joins us for an evening trip to the deck. Hank will be down on the pier. When Lucy comes out, she’ll be fine at first. Then she’ll see Hank, lower her head, and start growling. In a flash, Lucy bursts down the stairs. My wife and I will say while laughing, “How can she get down the stairs so fast and not fall?” Like clockwork, Lucy will fly down the stairs, through the guesthouse area, down another set of stairs, hit the beach on a dead-run, and catch up with the heron in a matter of seconds. It’s quite the sight.

It never fails: just when Lucy thinks she has Hank the Heron exactly where she wants him, he’ll take flight. He’ll fly way down and land on the neighbor’s dock. Then Lucy will race over and run him off. Hank will then fly back and land on our dock. And Lucy will run across the beach back to our dock. She’ll do this back and forth for a while. We just laugh. It is the funniest thing to watch a Dalmatian tirelessly chase a heron.

But what would happen if we walked out to the deck one night and didn’t notice the heron? What if Lucy came out, lowered her head, growled, and flew down the stairs, hitting the beach, running back and forth, barking hysterically? Without having the heron in our sights, we’d react and think: “Mad dog! Get her to the vet. Something’s wrong with her!”

In pursuing your dreams, it’s so important for you to be patient with your family and friends as they approach your vision. There’s nothing wrong with them and nothing is wrong with you. They simply don’t see the heron. They don’t see what you see. All they see is that you used to be normal — just like them. So, as your vision begins to find its wings and your enthusiasm fuels it on, your critics won’t fully understand your newly found momentum, nor should you expect them to.

They just don’t see what you see. It’s important to hold fast to our vision and avoid giving too much credence to our critics. Let’s say as critics, we never saw that heron at all and instead witnessed this seemingly crazy behavior from Lucy. My wife and I could continue to scold the dog then lock her up in the laundry room. We could get onto her to the point where she would go down to the beach, the heron would be there but Lucy would just act like she didn’t see it because it was just too much hassle. Even though chasing the heron is one of the greatest pleasures in Lucy’s life, we could have taken that away from her without even realizing what we were doing. Don’t let that happen. Keep your eye on what you’re going for. Keep your eye on it!

Move forward steadily toward your dreams knowing that your life is like a play unfolding beautifully - a work in progress. You are writing the script. You are the main actor on stage. Everyone else is an extra in your play. What do you want your story to be like? How would you like to experience it? Be grateful for your critics — every great story has one. They will help you grow into the person you want to become. Without the friction of the cocoon pressing firmly against the butterfly’s wings, this magnificent creature would never develop the strength to fly. Without critics along the way, reaching your goals wouldn’t be half as sweet. The purpose of the journey is to grow, and handling our critics with grace is just part of that process.

Making Peace with Criticism

1. Know Your Vision: Start a journal today and write out a mission statement that describes your vision and how you will make it happen. Be bold and describe what your life would look like minus your vision. Do everything you can to chart out your course in getting there.

2. Communicate to Your Critics: Be patient with their understanding. Use this time as a resource for your own growth knowing that the more you repeat your vision, the more you will own it.

3. Practice Managing Your Response: Be grateful for your critics. Acknowledge criticism and thank them for their insight, all the while holding tightly to your vision. A practiced response might be: “Great. Let me think about that. Thank you for your suggestion.”

4. Gather Your Tools: Jumpstart your vision by logging onto www.AndyAndrews.com and choose from a collection of free downloads that will help you define and chart your goals.

About the Author
Hailed as a “modern-day Will Rogers who has quietly become one of the most influential people in America,” Andy Andrews is a best-selling novelist and in-demand speaker for some of the world’s largest organizations. The Traveler’s Gift, a featured book selection of ABC’s Good Morning America, has been translated into nearly twenty languages and was on the New York Times bestseller list for seventeen weeks. Andy has spoken at the request of four different United States presidents and toured military bases around the world at the request of the Department of Defense. Arguably, there is no single person on the planet better at weaving subtle, yet life-changing lessons into riveting tales of adventure and intrigue—both on paper and on stage.

The Dalmatian and the Heron