 Values
Best Practices
The Dalmatian and the Heron
By Andy Andrews
Handling criticism in a
positive, powerful way is possible. This three-point
plan shows you how.
Lucy, our Dalmatian, is our dog daughter. We live on an
island on the Gulf of Mexico. Our house backs up to a
big, high sand dune and there’s a large deck on the back
of the house. When my wife and I stand out on the deck
at night looking down at the beach, we often see a giant
heron. Keep in mind; this heron is not just an ordinary
bird. He is a really big bird. He likes to hang around
our house in the evenings. We affectionately call him
“Hank the Heron.”
Lucy hates this heron. She wants to have him by the
neck. Lucy often joins us for an evening trip to the
deck. Hank will be down on the pier. When Lucy comes
out, she’ll be fine at first. Then she’ll see Hank,
lower her head, and start growling. In a flash, Lucy
bursts down the stairs. My wife and I will say while
laughing, “How can she get down the stairs so fast and
not fall?” Like clockwork, Lucy will fly down the
stairs, through the guesthouse area, down another set of
stairs, hit the beach on a dead-run, and catch up with
the heron in a matter of seconds. It’s quite the sight.
It never fails: just when Lucy thinks she has Hank the
Heron exactly where she wants him, he’ll take flight.
He’ll fly way down and land on the neighbor’s dock. Then
Lucy will race over and run him off. Hank will then fly
back and land on our dock. And Lucy will run across the
beach back to our dock. She’ll do this back and forth
for a while. We just laugh. It is the funniest thing to
watch a Dalmatian tirelessly chase a heron.
But what would happen if we walked out to the deck one
night and didn’t notice the heron? What if Lucy came
out, lowered her head, growled, and flew down the
stairs, hitting the beach, running back and forth,
barking hysterically? Without having the heron in our
sights, we’d react and think: “Mad dog! Get her to the
vet. Something’s wrong with her!”
In pursuing your dreams, it’s so important for you to be
patient with your family and friends as they approach
your vision. There’s nothing wrong with them and nothing
is wrong with you. They simply don’t see the heron. They
don’t see what you see. All they see is that you used to
be normal — just like them. So, as your vision begins to
find its wings and your enthusiasm fuels it on, your
critics won’t fully understand your newly found
momentum, nor should you expect them to.
They just don’t see what you see. It’s important to hold
fast to our vision and avoid giving too much credence to
our critics. Let’s say as critics, we never saw that
heron at all and instead witnessed this seemingly crazy
behavior from Lucy. My wife and I could continue to
scold the dog then lock her up in the laundry room. We
could get onto her to the point where she would go down
to the beach, the heron would be there but Lucy would
just act like she didn’t see it because it was just too
much hassle. Even though chasing the heron is one of the
greatest pleasures in Lucy’s life, we could have taken
that away from her without even realizing what we were
doing. Don’t let that happen. Keep your eye on what
you’re going for. Keep your eye on it!
Move forward steadily toward your dreams knowing that
your life is like a play unfolding beautifully - a work
in progress. You are writing the script. You are the
main actor on stage. Everyone else is an extra in your
play. What do you want your story to be like? How would
you like to experience it? Be grateful for your critics
— every great story has one. They will help you grow
into the person you want to become. Without the friction
of the cocoon pressing firmly against the butterfly’s
wings, this magnificent creature would never develop the
strength to fly. Without critics along the way, reaching
your goals wouldn’t be half as sweet. The purpose of the
journey is to grow, and handling our critics with grace
is just part of that process.
Making Peace with Criticism
1. Know Your Vision: Start a journal today and write out
a mission statement that describes your vision and how
you will make it happen. Be bold and describe what your
life would look like minus your vision. Do everything
you can to chart out your course in getting there.
2. Communicate to Your Critics: Be patient with their
understanding. Use this time as a resource for your own
growth knowing that the more you repeat your vision, the
more you will own it.
3. Practice Managing Your Response: Be grateful for your
critics. Acknowledge criticism and thank them for their
insight, all the while holding tightly to your vision. A
practiced response might be: “Great. Let me think about
that. Thank you for your suggestion.”
4. Gather Your Tools: Jumpstart your vision by logging
onto
www.AndyAndrews.com and choose from a collection of
free downloads that will help you define and chart your
goals.
Andy Andrews is a NYTimes best-selling author and
in-demand corporate/business speaker. More information
is available at
www.AndyAndrews.com
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